i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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