Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
is wine microwaveable?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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