The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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