Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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