I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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