I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
