FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you had me at cake vodka
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
