It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
