I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
