In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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