Define "chronic" masturbator.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
