Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
