I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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