i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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