just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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