Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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