I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
