Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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