...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
