just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
