Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize