Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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