Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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