Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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