I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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