it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
