Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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