I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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