i permit you to call me
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She told me I should be a condom model.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
