shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I cockslap morals
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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