this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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