It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
