my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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