halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
