When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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