I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize