Define "chronic" masturbator.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize