walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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