I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
