I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize