I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
