Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
