somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Green mimosas i think yes
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
