its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
