oh god the rape fog is back!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
