So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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