I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
