he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize