Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
