do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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