The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
