As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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