bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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