his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
