i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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