But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
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apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
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Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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