do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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