So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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