Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
