my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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