Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
